PORTLY APPLE SUPREMO Steve iJobs today announced a new initiative which he claimed will consign the WinTel PC to history. "The iDiot™ scheme is brilliant in its conceptual elegance and is available in six exciting colours," said Jobs at iApple iExpo i2002 at iNew iYork. "Put simply, we've realised that our products are bought by people with money to burn who aren't interested in tawdry things like value, compatibility, software choice or performance. What our users want is to pay over the odds for colourful tat. They'll buy anything as long as it's purple, pink, misty buff or moonlight indigo, provided it costs twice as much as the PC equivalent. "We need to attract more iDiot™s and the way we're going to do that is to increase prices across the board by 120 per cent. That way we'll have bigger iDiot™s and my marketing people assure me that will mean 90 per cent market share within six months." Delegates gave iJobs a standing ovation and took a spontaneous collection of cash, credit cards and firstborn children to present to the great man as a token of their appreciation. "Who cares if we can't afford to feed our kids or even buy more Grateful Dead bootlegs?" said one adoring fan. "As long as I've got a purple G4 connected to lots of expensive things beginning with the letter 'i', I'm in heaven. God bless you Steve." µ E venha esta nova maravilha da engenharia!